I came to in an inky blackness, the faint smell of petrol lingering around me. Disoriented I looked around for the familiar glow of my alarm clock, hoping for some clue of when and where I was, but there was just the blackness. It was something else, primordial and raw, like being intestines of Behemoth or Leviathan; for a moment I wondered if I was Jonah (or was it Noah?) locked away in the great belly of something, waiting for a reprieve from some cosmic deity.
A few more moments and I could feel that sickly claustrophobic feeling that comes with involuntary imprisonment. At least my hands were free, I groped around in the darkness, trying to find something that might hint at where I was. Beneath me was carpet, and in front was steel... unless I was very much mistaken I had found my way into the boot of a car.
I tried to remember what had happened the night before, why I might have climbed into the boot of a car and shut the hatch. Such risky, juvenile behaviour was usually beneath me, but in the heat of a chase I'd do anything to get my man (or, on more social occasions, woman). All I could gather was that I'd been out and about, possibly looking for someone, and that I'd had too much to drink. Even now I could feel the slightly giddy sensation, the boot began to spin in circles, the lateral Gs turning my stomach and disorienting me. I'm no light-weight when it comes to drinking, I'd held my own in many a drinking game, but last night something had been funny. I couldn't even remember where I'd been... or why!
I kicked out, hoping to be able to bust open the back seats of the car, but the latch held firm. It was freezing cold, which made me suspect that night had fallen again. The cool winter day had meant I wasn't disturbed by the car heating up, but if I didn't get out and get warm soon I was going to freeze... suddenly time was of the essence.
I scrambled around, pulling at the edges of the carpet, hoping to find the boot release cable. I crammed my fingers every nook and cranny they could find, but turned up nothing. At some point I was going to have to accept that I was trapped, that the darkness had swallowed me, that someone had left me in here to die.
From outside, the sound of boots came crunching across the gravel car park. There was someone out there.
I shouted, in the vain hope that whoever was there might hear and, hopefully, release me from my bondage.
The footsteps stopped right next to me...
I shouted again, knowing that they had to hear me.
Let me out!
The boot popped open and a face came in to view.
Looks like someone has been out, getting themselves into trouble again.
Jess... I always knew she'd be the one who would save me...
Where on earth have you been Odysseus? You up and leave one day three months ago, no forwarding address, no contact details, no hints about what's happened... and now, out of the blue, you show up in the boot of your old car with the keys still in the lock, at a motel miles from home, that I just happen to be staying at with my new boyfriend; just what are you trying to pull?
I groaned a little... she reached down and helped me out.
Still as eloquent as ever I see... come on, let's get you inside. You're just lucky I had to come out to get my other bag, or you'd have had to stay here all night. How am I going to explain this one to Doug?
You'll think of something... you're good at talking off the top of your head.
And what's that supposed to mean? I have a good mind to lock you back in there and throw away the keys, see where that gets you! Hypothermia most likely...
Can we just go in and get some whiskey?
Sure... but you have some explaining to do young man!
